As most of you know, October is breast cancer awareness month. Luckily for me, I was diagnosed with breast cancer October 2nd. So, while I was wearing endless hospital gowns, being poked by needles, getting drilled into my spine, waiting for biopsy results, crying in front of strangers, and questioning how long I have left to live, I got to see pink balloons and breast cancer awareness signs literally everywhere I went. It was haunting. We are all AWARE that breast cancer exists. Most of us have seen the commercials on TV, walked miles in pink t-shirts, and changed our profile pictures on Facebook to support those of us dealing with the disease, but the problem is that we stop there. We are raising money, but where does that money actually go? To the pink shirts, bracelets, and pins we wear? To the huge events held to promote awareness? To the CEOs of these foundations? I am definitely not saying we should stop walking or forget about the awareness aspect completely. Awareness is important and still very much needed! However, breast cancer is more than just a pink ribbon and, sometimes, it's easy to forget that.
Shortly after I was diagnosed, I did a little search to see what different organizations there are to support people like me. I quickly found that there are literally countless groups around the country who do amazing things for breast cancer patients, it's astounding! I found some of these organizations on Instagram and have been able to learn so much from them (just one of the perks of social media)! One of these groups using social media for support is an organization called Metavivor. Ever heard of it? Me either, until just recently...Metavivor is a non-profit dedicated to increasing awareness specifically to metastatic breast cancer, which is is the only breast cancer that KILLS. They are also the only organization to donate 100% of its proceeds to metastatic breast cancer research! Honestly, now that we are AWARE of this deadly disease, lets put some money into finding a CURE! We have all heard of the American Cancer Society and Susan G. Komen, why did I have to wait until after my diagnosis to learn about Metavivor?
Through Metavivor's Instagram page, I have been able to connect to people all over the country who have been diagnosed with breast cancer, but more specifically metastatic breast cancer. I can relate to them and they understand what I am going through more than anyone! I can ask strangers questions about their experiences and get advice from them about how to make a certain decision or what products to use throughout the different stages of treatment. On Instagram, it has also been nice because everything is through pictures and videos. I can literally see the side effects they're describing and watch their hair growth after chemo! I can also prepare myself for what my mastectomy will look like or how sore and red my chest will get after radiation. It is such a supportive community that no one ever wants to be a part of...
Last month, I started seeing people share posts about Metavivor teaming up with Ana Ono Intimates (intimate apparel dedicated to women who have undergone mastectomies and/or radiation) during New York Fashion Week! All of the models for the show were diagnosed with metastatic breast cancer and 100% of the proceeds would be donated to Metavivor and put towards research! Of course I had dreams of attending, but our budget is tight with me not working right now, and I couldn't justify the cost of a trip into the city and a ticket to fashion week. About a week before the show, they shared that people sponsored enough tickets to the show that MBC patients could send in their information for a chance to be added to their guest list at no cost! I sent in my name and email and was notified a couple days later that I was chosen to join the once in a lifetime experience! I quickly reached out to a couple of my friends who spontaneously decided to come along with one question - "What do we wear!?"
The picture above is of me in my fabulous royal blue jumpsuit I found at Marshalls for $25, minus a $15 gift card, for a grand total of $10!! Jack-freaking-pot! The color was perfect, because I truly felt like ROYALTY! My friends and I took a surprisingly smooth drive into NYC, parked in a nearby garage, and found the venue quite easily (once we put the right address into the GPS! 😝) The doors to the Angel Orensanz Foundation opened at noon, and we walked right in no problem! After checking in, and our 2-hour car ride, we blindly rushed to the extremely tiny ladies room to freshen up. When we walked back out, we were in absolute amazement at how beautiful this place was! Angel Orensanz is an old synagogue built in 1849, that has since been renovated and is now used for private events, fundraisers, concerts, and fashion shows. Not only did the architecture and lighting catch our eye, but the strong and powerful faces of the people walking around us stopped me in my tracks. I was truly amazed and felt so comfortable being in such a large space filled with people just like me. To call it empowering is an understatement.
After snapping a couple pictures, we made our way upstairs to the balcony where they had a nice brunch spread out for everyone to enjoy, and a fancy "red carpet" to take more photos on (see above!) We spent some time up there laughing, chatting, eating, and drinking...I even found some Instagram followers who I had connected with before, which was really pretty neat! We went back downstairs to claim our spot and ended up meeting some other people while we waited for the show to start. One woman was a survivor, and there was a man there whose wife was one of the models! He shared her story and it was as if he was talking about me - under 40, toddler at home, recently diagnosed de novo (stage IV at first diagnosis) with bone mets. I knew we had to connect and, sure enough, social media came through for us again! We've been following each other for just a couple weeks now but we already have plans to meet up and have a play date for the kiddos!
Just after 1 o'clock, a man came on the stage to open the show. He also had metastatic breast cancer, which is yet another reminder that men need to check themselves too! He gave us two numbers: 40,000 - the number of people who die from breast cancer each year, and 113 - the number of people who die each day from MBC. What a way to set the tone. These numbers are not only too high, but truthfully, these numbers should not even exist! As he finished his speech, the crowd of people in that room roared for his bravery and we all knew we were in for a phenomenal show! Before the models came out, a gorgeous voice took the mic and sang a moving song she wrote just for us. As her song ended, the speakers shook the room with songs like "I'm Every Woman" by Whitney Houston, "Run the World" by Beyonce, and "PYT" by Michael Jackson. We couldn't help but dance, shout, and cheer on the strong women who took the stage in front of us! It was unforgettable. Women of all ages, shapes, colors, and sizes strutted their stuff that day and gave us all the encouragement we needed to not only be comfortable in our own skin, but to also see what Ana Ono Intimates looks like on REAL women who NEED them. These women have these bras and underwear in their drawers at home because they are so very comfortable, yes, AND because their bodies have undergone things you wouldn't believe! This wasn't just an ordinary fashion show, though. This was a movement, a call for CHANGE! These women modeled off gorgeous apparel while also sending important messages to everyone...
Words like "I AM LIVING" "NOT JUST ONE" "METASTATIC AF" "1 in 3" "FIERCE" "MOTHER" "FEARLESS" and "SAVE US" were also walking that cat walk. There is more than just one person living with this incurable disease. Sadly, but truthfully, we are an army! Let's just say, Metavivor and Ana Ono really got their message across. Simply stated, it's time for a change....it's time for a CURE!
Once the fashion show was over, we walked out of that building new women. My friends that came with me may not have MBC, but all three of us were changed after that experience. It wasn't just a cancer reality check, but it made me rethink how I live my life. I'm going to focus more on living in the moment rather than worrying about my future. There's no time for that. Right now, we need to lift each other up and do what we can to get everyone to live their longest and absolute BEST lives every day. What can we do today to better our tomorrows?
I have received so many compliments on how "strong" and "positive" I have been since my diagnosis last October. I find myself questioning how authentic these comments are, though, because isn't that just what you say to people with cancer? Then people assure me that it is when I share a picture of me smiling or enjoying an event like this on social media that tells them that they can have a good time and enjoy their life, too, no matter what is thrown at them! Let me tell you, not once did I ever think that I would be diagnosed with a terminal illness. Not once did I think I would ever need chemotherapy or a bilateral mastectomy. Sure I have my down days like anyone does, but NOT ONCE did this cancer ever keep me from smiling or laughing or enjoying special moments with friends and family. I will keep laughing until the day I die, and I will post proof of my smile everyday if I have to, even if it's just to smack cancer in the face one more time!
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