Still Sarah.

I am not really sure what to do on here or where to begin. Whether it is to help me, or maybe help someone else, though, it's worth a try. Regardless, I think it is time for me to share my journey, so here it goes...

On October 2, 2018, I was diagnosed with Invasive Ductal Carcinoma Breast Cancer. I was 28 years young, I was training for my first half marathon, eating healthy (most of the time), and studying for my Real Estate Licensing Exam. As far as knew, I was doing everything right, but sometimes that just doesn't matter.

Not to belittle anyone who has been diagnosed with breast cancer, or any type of cancer for that matter, but I was so quick to think to myself that it was all going to be okay. Maybe it was to make myself feel better, but I knew plenty of people who had been diagnosed with cancer and they're doing just fine. I knew I was going to be fine, too.

Then, that certainty quickly shifted when I was told that it had spread to my vertebrae, automatically making it Stage IV Metastatic Breast Cancer.

"Wait. What?"

To be honest, I didnt even know what the word 'metastatic' meant until that meeting. The doctor just seemed so calm when she said it, as if I shouldn't be concerned. Then I heard the words 'Stage IV' and 'incurable' tossed around and saw my husband shaking his head in his hands. My face turned to stone. I could feel my mouth open the slightest bit and just stay there. My eyes were dry without one urge to blink. It was as if, in that moment, my spirit escaped my body. I was watching everyone around me respond to this devastating news, without even being able to react myself.

I'm not sure my spirit ever returned, and if it did, it's definitely not the same. It is through this journey, though, that I will find out who I am and who I am meant to be. Rest assured, I am still Sarah.